Saturday, April 13, 2013

Saturday Mornings Chat and Chew

Lee: Good Morning.

Kiki: Morning...

Lee: So, here's the buffet...What's going on?

Kiki: Nothing. I'm great. Just great!

(Waitress walks by)

         Oh, ma'am? Can I get some more butter?

Lee: A word of advice: when you hit formica? Stop.

Kiki: You know the expression, "falling off the wagon", Lee? This is what it looks like.

Lee: Yeah, but, you've got 20, 30 pounds of food to break your fall. What the hell happened?

Kiki: Bad morning. Proceeded by 33 bad years.

Lee: Does this have something to do with Gwen?

Kiki: Mmm, of course not. I love my sister. I love everything about her...

         "Kiki. Kiki-kins. Who's smoking? I smell smoke. Is someone smoking within a six mile radius of
          where I'm standing?!? Stop them, Kiki! Stop them–"

(Waitress walks by)

        Oh, Ma'am? The butter?

        What are they out of butter? How can you run out of butter?

Lee: Well, I have one theory–

Kiki: You know, what? I need an assistant. If I had an assistant she would be outside right now–
         milking a cow–and I would never–ever–run out of butter...
         "Oh, Kiki, my butter has touched another food. I need new butter."
         (under her breathe) Oh, I need more honey.
        That's the way it goes, Lee. Right? You're a publicist. You know. Anything they want, right?

         She's got a green dress. Looks like crap on her. Brings out the circles under her eyes. She knows
         it. I know it...She gave it to me. It actually looks pretty nice on me. And then she says, well,
         maybe she wanted it back–you know what I mean? She doesn't want it. She just doesn't want me
         to have it. That's the truth.

Lee: So, what is it? You're in love with Eddie?

Kiki: Wouldn't that be stupid?

Lee: Kiki, I have done every one of their movies. I've never seen him look at her the way he's been
       looking at you. And if you're in love–you should just go for it. The way you went for this
       breakfast! Well, not the way you went for this breakfast...that's know

Kiki: Lee? I think...I'm gonna be...sick...could you just...

Lee: Oh...

(Kiki leaves)
(Waitess sets down butter)

     Hi. Listen, I'm gonna take all this to go. I'll need, I don't know, 20-40 bags and a forklift.

(Waitress leaves)

     No Laugh. No tip.

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