The Brainless Bimbos of Spring Breakers

Y'all, I feel like I need a Silkwood-type shower after watching this week's Hit Me With Your Best Shot Season Finale film: Harmony Korine's hedonistic, candy-colored (oh, sorry. I forgot to mention fever dream) ode to that college tradition, Spring Breakers.

Korine's films (from the NC-17 rated, Kids, in which he wrote the screenplay, or the mind-numbingly bad, Gummo) have always been divisive. Just read anything about this latest film (and believe me, there's much that has been written) and you're sure to find as many supporters as haters. And with his most mainstream cast to date (a couple of former Disney child stars trying to break free of their goody-goody past and James Franco in an "Oscar-worthy" performance art piece) so much press was given to the film this spring that you'd think it was the greatest film of a new generation. But watching it, it seemed so out of touch and dated – as if it was made in that era of the late 90s when everything was "extreme" and the girls look like they're channeling a No Doubt video from 1999 (One of them even sports the pink hairstyle that Gwen rocked back in the day). It also didn't help to have the girls constantly sing songs that were popular more than a decade ago (so much classic Britney. And what teenage girl in 2013 sings Nelly "Hot in Herre" – sadly, not a typo). I feel bad saying last week's film Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid didn't have a lot going for it because that film is Citizen Kane compared to the repetitive ad nauseam of this film.

Count me in the camp as one who will never "get" the appeal of Korine's films. Their sole purpose is shock value without providing any real substance or deeper meaning behind them. Style masquerading as social commentary. They're as empty headed as the 3 interchangeable bikini-clad stars of this film. (Selena Gomez's brunette Faith is not included because Korine seems to have felt that giving her a different personality and backstory was distracting and dumps her 40 minutes into the film.) Which is why I went with the shot I did for Best (although, I'm using that term very loosely. I had a hard time finding something redeeming here. So many slow motion shots of bare boobs and crotches...which one to choose?!?):

The two scenes that people seem to talk about the most from this movie are Franco's monologue about all the shit he owns and this musical interlude set to Britney Spears' "Everytime". It's such a bizarre moment that I had to go with it. The three girls with their hot pink ski masks are stripped of what little identity they were given and are reduced to the headless male fantasies the film has been subjecting them to throughout. It's no accident that they now look like blow-up dolls. It's either the work of a mad genius or someone who needs to be locked away for depravity. I tend to go with the latter.