Saturday, April 21, 2012

Saturday Mornings Chat and Chew

Sally: So, what do you do with these women? You just get up out of bed and leave?

Harry: Sure

Sally: Well, explain to me how you do it? What do you say?

Harry: Just say I have an early meeting, early haircut, early squash game...

Sally: You don't play squash.

Harry: They don't know that. They just met me.

Sally: That's disgusting.

Harry: I know. I feel terrible.

Sally: You know, I am so glad I never got involved with you. I just would've ended up being some
          woman you had to get up out of bed and leave at 3 o'clock in the morning to go clean your
          andirons. And you don't even have a fireplace. Not that I would know this.

Harry: What are you getting so upset about? This is not about you.

Sally: Yes, it is! You are a human affront to all women. And I am a woman.

Harry: Hey, I don't feel great about this. But, I don't hear anyone complaining.

Sally: Of course not. You're out the door too fast.

Harry: I think they have an okay time.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Whaddyamean, how do I know? I know.

Sally: Because they...

Harry: Yes, because they...

Sally: How do you know that they're really...

Harry: What. Are. You. Saying? That they fake orgasm?

Sally: It's possible.

Harry: Get outta here.

Sally: Why? Most women at one time or another have faked it.

Harry: Well, they haven't faked it with me.

Sally: How do you know?

Harry: Because I know.

Sally: Oh. Right. That's right. I forgot–you're a man.

Harry: What is that supposed to mean?

Sally: Nothing. It's just that all man are sure it never happened to them and most woman at one time or
          another have done it, so you do the math.

Harry: You don't think that I can tell the difference?

Sally: No

Harry: Get outta here.

Sally: Oooo. Oh. Oooo...

Harry: Are you okay?

Sally: Oooo. Oh, god. Oooo. Oh, god! Oooo. Oh! Oh! Oh, God! Oh, yeah, right there! Oh!(gasp, gasp)

          Oh! Oh! Oh!Oh, GOD! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Oh! Oh, YES! YES! YES!

          YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Oh! Oh! Oh, god!

Woman: I'll have what she's having.

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